Yoga Teacher Training (200h): a turning point

I don’t think I really had a specific idea or expectation in mind when I decided to do this YTT at one of my favorite studios and yoga school, Sarvam, in Lebanon. I just know that at that time, my yoga practice was the only constant and stable thing in my life. The practice made sense of everything that didn’t, and for me, nothing made sense at that point except the practice of yoga. 

Anyway, it had been 6 months since I left Lebanon for Canada, I was barely settled, yet the decision to return to do the YTT was extremely easy to make despite the fact that my situation (means, housing, career, mental, physical …) was really unstable. 

I sublet my room in Montreal to a friend, broke my piggy bank (with the help of my sister who also broke hers for me, thank you Gee ❤️), and I came back to Beirut for this. To do something that made sense and as I said earlier, yoga made sense and so a Yoga Teacher Training seemed like a sensible endeavor. I felt that I could only do this in Beirut, in my hometown. I also chose Sarvam, this studio located two minutes by foot from my old apartment in the city (which I have lived in all my life), because, even though I had only been practicing there for a few months, I felt from the first time that I had a lot to learn from the Sarvam instructors, both in terms of physical and spiritual practice. I felt the message of yoga in this studio, through the rhythm of the instructors’ vocal instructions that moved my body and the bodies gathered in this illuminated ashram to practice yoga. The movement in this studio gives hope. There is a great aura and a lot of authenticity in this place. God, Allah, the universe (that metaphysical force, whoever it is, whatever it is) knows that we need hope in my little country. Sarvam is in my opinion a piece of hope around the debris, the unhappiness, the misery and the suffering of Beirut.

I’ll be honest, it’s a very strict 7 weeks training on a physical level (15 to 20 hours of asana- physical yoga practice- per week + meditation + anatomy classes) with precise and demanding guides/instructors. Discipline is necessary (I would say mandatory). 

On the other hand, physical rigor alone is not enough, since everything is really played out on a mental and spiritual level: it is a matter of being ready and open to see various aspects of one’s self and of the world called into question. 

Questioning is scary, and it is not easy. However, neither fear, nor difficulty, are a match for harmony. For that is indeed what you get from an experience like YTT: harmony.

I write in my journal on March 24, 2022 (week 3 of the YTT):
« […] I am in quite an interesting physical discovery these days. There is something going on when I listen to my heart. […] I’m tired of underestimating myself. I’m discovering all these extremes in myself, how disciplined and undisciplined I can be at the same time. I’m often on the verge of self-destruction and I risk self-destruction. Sometimes I see things when they don’t exist. I have dysmorphic issues with certain aspects of myself (my body and looks are part of it but not only). However, I’m learning to channel my thoughts, and that’s what meditation is all about. When I want to, I observe and let go. Thoughts can go in all directions, and I always risk getting lost in them when I forget that the essential is here, inside me, I have to come back to that, to myself, breathe, and let go. »

Many tears were shed (at least in my case, I cry a lot yes), some got injured (I got sciatica in the middle of the training, yay!), we all doubted, even failed somewhere at some point. However, we all supported each other, as a community, as humans, we helped each other to get up, to continue, not to give up. The harmony we all found is in fact a union, the union of body and mind, the union of bodies and minds.

The people I did this training with, and the people who led it, are extraordinary. The goal is not only to have this piece of paper that gives the title of certified yoga teacher, the goal is to be able (with this international certification -Yoga Alliance-) to transmit a message so powerful, so unifying: the message of yoga (which comes from yug=union), and yoga is self love, and love of all that surrounds us, the awareness of oneself and of all that surrounds us, because we constitute our being and we are part of all that surrounds it. 

« You are one and all ». Because in the end, yoga teaches us to detach ourselves from everything we think we know, from all those mental constructs that lock us in and prevent us from being free, because the ultimate freedom is the freedom to breathe, to exist, to be there, here and now. The ultimate freedom is detachment, to better unite.

هناك سعادة في التخلي

Therein lies true happiness, the union between body, mind, bodies, spirits, and the whole universe that is, and that I am.

I write in my journal on March 29, 2022 (week 4 of YTT): 

« I think it’s been a long time since I’ve loved myself the way I love myself these days […]. I think I’m getting that feeling back, the feeling of self-love, and with that I love everything and everyone. » 

Then on April 11, 2022 (YTT Week 6): 

« My revolution is named after you mom. That of love, honesty, self-love, frankness and simplicity. Of integrity, transparency, error, correction, construction, forgiveness. Today more than ever I am fulfilled. I have always tried to be true to who I am, who I am trying to become, and I feel that everything is aligning these days. I am grateful for life. » 

Sarvam’s YTT is a path that directed me to freedom, which I still find within myself, on my mat, and which I now have the privilege of passing on. 

I am grateful to my mentors at Sarvam who have been caring and knowledgeable guides, and who are constantly respectful of the origins and traditions of yoga.

I write, April 26, 2022 (end of YTT): 

« It’s over. Two months of training for a certificate that allows me to teach yoga anywhere in the world. This experience proves to me more and more how much love is present wherever we wish to find it, and it starts within ourselves. We all want to find happiness. For me, yoga is love, and love is happiness. This is what I want to spread.  »

Information about Sarvam’s YTT 2022 (October):
Instagram: @sarvamyoga
Call/WhatsApp: +961 71 707 270 / +961 3 013 013
Testimonials:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_c_ndNnYZ7h7r4u2yYDITg/videos